Not dark yet

Quite love the lyrics to this song especially the last two paragraphs-...I've been down on the bottom of a world full of lies.....

And yes it's another Dylan song:

Shadows are falling and I’ve been here all day
It’s too hot to sleep, time is running away
Feel like my soul has turned into steel
I’ve still got the scars that the sun didn’t heal
There’s not even room enough to be anywhere
It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there

Well, my sense of humanity has gone down the drain
Behind every beautiful thing there’s been some kind of pain
She wrote me a letter and she wrote it so kind
She put down in writing what was in her mind
I just don’t see why I should even care
It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there

Well, I’ve been to London and I’ve been to gay Paree
I’ve followed the river and I got to the sea

I’ve been down on the bottom of a world full of lies
I ain’t looking for nothing in anyone’s eyes
Sometimes my burden seems more than I can bear
It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there

I was born here and I’ll die here against my will
I know it looks like I’m moving, but I’m standing still
Every nerve in my body is so vacant and numb
I can’t even remember what it was I came here to get away from
Don’t even hear a murmur of a prayer
It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there


He couldn't have said it better with this picture though...

Once

Remember to hold my hand
When my darkest hour has come.
No words need to be spoken
When my darkest hour has come.
Where I am going
You cannot be,
For it is not your time,
Yet.
Let there not be tears of grief
When you think
Of those moments we shared.
Let there be tears of joy
Coz
You and I
We've had our time
Together once.
Once is enough
In many a lifetime.
Once is enough
With you.

Afraid to dream

Men are afraid to dream
Lest they fall
Into that abyss of darkness
They cannot get out of.
Children are afraid to sleep
Lest what lurks in that darkness
Steals their innocence.
The women cry
Hearts a-stolen
By That thief that creeps
In the night.
I lay awake
Silently screaming
Into the darkness
A nightmare
I cannot wake from.
A dream which lain
Like a trap.
I get ensnarled once again.
This trap,
I cannot escape.

Tbc....

What bounds us?

What bounds us together?
The familiarity that we bred
Over the years?
What bounds us together?
The web of lies
That we have spun?
What bounds us together?
The pain
That we inflicted on one another?
What bounds us together?
That sadness
We both wallowed in?
You and I
I and you
Will our paths
Continue to diverge?
Will our paths cross
One fine day?
Or will we go our separate ways?
You and I
No more.

Empty shells

Just empty shells
Walking on the streets
Of life.
But the souls live on,
On a highway,
To eternity.

Everything has changed.

By the window

Sat by the window
Watching the days roll by.
Days became months
And months became years.
I watch the seasons change
I watch myself change
No longer could I laugh
At silly things.
No longer could I see
The beauty
In simple things.
The love of life
Eludes me.

Your name

your name lingers on my lips
When I speak your name
My heart fills with sadness
And an emptiness
That I am so familiar with.
It's been a friend of mine
For a very long time.

Good and evil

Transversing between good and evil
I've fallen into the in-between
Where there is no light and no darkness.
I exist because I breathe .

That boy

Troubles on my mind
Troubles in my heart
Troubles in my soul
Where do I cast these troubles
Of mine?
I once loved a boy,
His name I've not forgotten.
We once sat together
In an old classroom
In a worn-out school.
Up and down the hallways
We ran.
Laughin our troubles away.
I once loved a boy,
His name I've not forgotten.
Where is that boy now?
has he gone to war?
Has he moved up east
Does he dress in suits
Has he settled
With a wife and 2.5 kids?
I once loved a boy,
His name I've not forgotten.
How sweet his name sounded
On my lips.
That boy,
I've not forgotten.
Even as the years rolled by.
That boy.

These words came to me when I was about to sleep last night. Sometimes it's strange that words just float into one's mind without making much sense. The poem's fictitious and only the first three sentences are kinda true.

I think bob Dylan said something to the same effect when he was asked in an interview on how he wrote his songs. He said the words just came. I think it's so hard to write something purposefully and consciously than when the words just "come". I mean that is quite an obvious fact that no one can argue. But what turns out best might be a mixture of the conscious and subconscious. Typically the editing part requires the conscious mind...

Bob Dylan

"I give her my heart but she wanted my soul"

Great lyricist... Pity bout the voice.

Thought the lyrics to "Dont think twice, it's alright" were really good. You find disappointment, sarcasm, love, anger, a bit of wanting to go but not wanting to at the same time- quite a range of emotions there in a 3-min song. My favorite cover of the song is by Peter, Paul, and Mary.
http://youtu.be/Xu-DWUngjhk

Another song of his that I love is Make You Feel My Love. The lyrics are incredibly touching - "When the evening shatters, and the stars appear, And there is no one there, To dry your tears.
I could hold you, For a million years, To make you feel my love." Although Dont Think Twice It's Alright is not a love song, I actually thought it is quite romantic too. Behind all that angst lies a romantic.

Dear Mr Pinkton,
This is my last letter to you. You have annoyed me tremendously and I shall never talk to you again. Please do not write me.

Yours sincerely,
I.A.

Ms Adler sealed the envelope carefully and dabbed a rose-scented perfume on the back of the envelope.

There! That should frighten that terrible man a little bit!

She had the maid mailed the letter out urgently.

A week went by and then another, and still no news from a certain Mr. Pinkton.

Ms Adler was highly agitated by now.

Oh that terrible, terrible man! I shall never ever speak with him again!

She sat at her desk and began writing the next nasty letter to Pinkton.

Dear Mr Pinkton,
I was just wondering if you had received my last letter, informing you to never write me again. I hereby, state it again, just in case that last letter was lost, that, You, Mr Pinkton should never ever write me again. I shall burn every last letter that you send my way!

Yours sincerely,
I.A.
Benjamin Pinkton chuckled at the rose-scented letters from Ms Adler. They were stacked neatly in a pile on his desk. He just loved to make that snobbish little woman mad. He pondered for a moment whether to finally write her back. Surely he has had his fun annoying her. He searched around for his stationery...his desk was a clutter of strange items that had no right to be on a desk: a half-eaten sandwich, an empty bottle of scotch, his razor, a bottle of formaldehyde...he finally found a crumpled sheet of paper.

Dear Ms Adler,
I received your last letter...but unfortunately, I couldn't read a word of it. You see my friend's bulldog had mistaken it for his lunch and devoured it. I managed to save some scraps of your lovely smelling letter... and they read," Dear Mr Pinkton, write me!"
Well, since you obviously are in love with me, here I am, responding to your call of desperation. If you would so like, meet me at the café on 21 Baker's street.

Love,
Benjamin Pinkton

Richard matheson- somewhere in time

Finally found the book in the library. It bears some similarity to What Dreams May Come in the sense that the "forewords" of both books were written by the lead characters' brothers. In what dreams may come, Chris' brother received a stack of transcriptions from a psychic, whom Chris had contacted from the afterlife. In somewhere in time, Richard's brother found his diary after Richard had died from brain tumor. I wonder what gives. I think this is a much better read than what dreams may come although it seems a little far-fetched. How is it possible to fall in love with a man, especially in the 1900s, within a day or two?kinda makes you wonder whether it had all been richard's imagination. Nonetheless, I still quite enjoyed the book and the movie.

Seasons of life

This is a collection of stories of women's experiences in life and God. It's really quite inspiring and heartening to read about how God is always looking out for his people and getting them through difficult times- from divorce, to singlehood, to motherhood, to career, to widowhood... It brings to mind a passage in Corinthians that says: "you are tempted in the same way that everyone else is tempted. But God can be trusted not to let you be tempted too much and will
show you how to escape your temptations."
Many times when we face tribulations on life, we ask God why and sometimes even lose faith. But we must always believe that no tasks are too tough for us to overcome when we can lend strength from God.
That's just about what I had taken from the book. Honestly, the part that affected me the most was on death of loved ones. Whether it's a spouse or a parent. It just saddens me and though I know that I have Him, I do wonder sometimes if I can really be strong enough to bear the passing of someone dear.
Anyway, at the end of the book, it talked about mission trips to china. Recently there had been an opportunity to do this but I was hesitant coz I didn't feel that I was ready. But after coming across this, I was quite moved to join a mission trip. But alas, it did not come to fruition either. To say the truth, this was the third time that my plans to go for volunteering trip has failed. Initial plan was to head to Cambodia, second was to batam. I guess everything is in His time and hands.

The best American travel writing 2008-edited by Anthony bourdain

Didn't read much of the stories in this book Cept for one on Singapore (three chopsticks by calvin trillin).Kinda narcissistic... The story featured KF Seetoh and how he brought the author to taste the best food, aka hawker food in Singapore. I think the story exemplifies again how food brings and binds people together. And very often when one thinks about a place or when someone mentions a place we have been to, we will tend to ask if they had tried a certain dish at a certain place. When friends visit our country, food is not missing the planned itinerary. The story ended with the author imagining what he would say to Seetoh of he ever visits NYC "but you haven't had a calzone yet...... You can't go home without eating a knish, it will knock your socks off." Exact same words that Seetoh used Cept for different food of course.

Aleph- Paulo coelho

I think nothing can compare with the alchemist. It's the same with the Aleph. Aleph is a autobiography of sort of Paulo coelho's travels in 2006. He embarked on a "quest" to find his spirit, as he had felt stagnant in his spiritual growth. On his journey in Russia,Siberia, he met a young woman named Hilal who claimed that she was connected to Coelho based on a story he wrote about a friend keeping a fire burning for his friend. Through some mental invocation, coelho found out that Hilal was a woman who had loved him 500 years ago and who had died because he did not have the courage to stand up for her. Now all he wanted was her forgiveness. It seems all that we do, did, and will do are interconnected. This book will appeal to you depending on what your beliefs are. Although the idea of reincarnation is exciting, how real is it ?

1968 and I'm Hitchhiking through Europe- Joe Mack

A college student's summer vacation in Europe in the 60s. Quite a charming read as the book wasn't so much about what he had seen in Europe but the people he had met. I wonder if the world is as opened as it was back in the 60s, where people were unafraid of inviting strangers they had picked up from the road to their home for dinner. Is hitchhiking a thing from the past or is it still a viable mode of travel? With the world a less safer place than it was, I believe the former might hold true.

Richard matheson-button button

Because I couldn't find Somewhere in Time by Richard Matheson, I borrowed the only available book by him in the library- Button, Button: Uncanny Stories 

It was a very good read. Filled with short, obscure stories that sometimes ended abruptly. Some of the stories in this collection included Button, Button (featured in Twilight Zone and a movie entitled The Box), No Such Thing as a Vampire, Clothes Make the Man, etc.

My favorite was No Such Thing as a Vampire. The plot was quite clever. Dr Petre Gheria's wife, Alexis, had turned sickly and was found in the morning with blood spilt all over her body. Gheria discovered two puncture wounds on her neck and was seemingly led to believe that the village was haunted by vampires. It turned out to be a case of revenge and murder plotted by Petre on his wife and her lover, who was also Petre's close friend.
A fun and cute read...

Richard Matheson-what dreams may come

I watch the movie I think back in 1998 or so. I loved it then but hadn't realized it was adapted from a book till recently when I was browsing through some e-books. I think the film was better than the book. The book's a bit long-winded but then again it paints a bigger picture of the philosophy of life after death, reincarnation, etc and gives the readers more room for thought. I quite enjoyed the afterword by Stephen Simon, the producer of the movie. He said he actually cried reading the book and thought Matheson was ahead of his time by raising all these questions and ideas regarding the spiritual life before new age became popular. It was also through this after word that I realized Matheson wrote somewhere in time (the book title is actually bid time return) , another favorite of mine. I watch somewhere in time back in 1996 but I think it was screened way before 96. It starred Christopher reeves aka superman and Jane Seymour. That movie made me wish I could time travel that way too! By pure thought.
I couldn't find the eBook version of somewhere in time so decided to try my luck at the library today. Unfortunately the library didnt carry it as well but I made another discovery about Matheson. He actually wrote I am Legend. I read the book and watch the movie but didnt recall Matheson being the author. A string discoveries and it turned out I actually liked all the movies that were adapted from his books.
Back to What Dreams May Come... The idea came from Shakespeare's Hamlet where Hamlet said "for in that sleep of death what dreams may come". It hints of the idea that there is belief or even fear of what might linger after death. Do we completely dissolve out of existence or do we carry on another life as what Chris Nielsen experienced after his death. It talked about souls and mostly above love. Chris and Ann were soul mates in the literal sense of the word, inseparable, finding one another life after life. Chris went through hell and was willing to stay on in hell just so he could be with Ann. I remembered this scene very well from the movie. Robin Williams was terrific in his acting. You could really see the light went out of his eyes when he decided that hell was where he would stay, if he couldn't pull Ann out of it. A rather beautiful moment.
Although I so want to believe that everyone has a soul mate, it gets harder as one grows older. Do we really have souls that will persist after our physical shells die?is there only one soul mate for everyone or are there many to go around? How did soul mates come about? An act of God or something else ? Why is it that some people never meet their soul mates and live their lives in single hood ? Did their soul mate got lost in another life? Perhaps.... It's all very strange and I guess we would have no answers to that.

Everything must come to an end,
Nothing lasts forever.

Ebooks

I have got quite a collection now of eBooks. But somehow found it rather tough to concentrate when it's electronic. I guess some things just cannot be "technologised". Nothing beats the crisp smell of a new book, the feel of the pages, the crackling sounds a book makes when you turn the pages.

Sundays at Tiffany's-james Patterson

It never fails to amuse and amaze me how James Patterson can write romance as well as his crime novels. It almost seems like he is "bi-gender".
Sundays at Tiffany's is a cute romance about a woman falling in love with her imaginary childhood friend. Yep it's as strange as it gets but a captivating read nonetheless. The writing style varies so widely from his usual crime novels that it seems like it's been written by a woman. Amusingly enough, he wrote in the voice of the female lead, Jane. Jane, the chubby kid who imagined Michael when she was a young child with a neglectful and overbearing mother. She was often lonely and her only friend was Michael. On her 9th birthday, Michael had to leave her as he so often did when his "mission" was accomplished.
Many years later when Jane was in her 30s, she met Michael again. Imagine her shock. And so it is that Michael is pretty much like an angel. Sent on missions to keep little girls and boys company in their childhood. However, he never forgot Kane and neither did Jane forget him after all these years. And so it was, that they fell in love. By falling in love Michael became more like a human, feeling pain and all. It sounds pretty much like City of Angels when Nicholas Cage fell in love with Meg Ryan and decided to be human.

Quite a good read.

Cross-Fire- James Patterson

I really like the Alex cross series. I don't really know where Alex is in his life in Cross Fire. But his wife Marie(?) was already murdered. He was in a new relationship with another cop, Bree and planning to get married. Kyle Craig his long-time nemesis was on the loose and threatening to kill him and his family. Craig went for plastic surgery to transform himself into an undercover cop and managed to infiltrate the FBI(?) and got closer to Alex Cross. At the same time, murder after murder of important bankers, politicians were occurring, inciting fear in the city. And frustration for Alex.

The book was gripping but nothing new. I would probably give it a 3.5/5.

The little book-Selden Edwards

The idea of this book was very interesting. A man from modern-day San Francisco suffered a blackout and mysteriously ended up in 19th century Vienna. There he met his father who suffered the same condition. And to add complexities, they met their grandfather/father, a stern and no-nonsense man. The story revolved around this teacher they deeply respected and his little book of anecdotes, quotes, teachings.
Unfortunately I did not finish the book. It gets a little boring after some time. But I do love the idea of time travelling and meeting people from the past. Wheeler met Freud, mark twain,etc. Perhaps I should really persevere in finishing this book. I saw a review saying it took the author 30 years to write this book. 30 years!!!?! Seriously....

The start of a book

Dear Mr Pinkton,
This is my last letter to you. You have annoyed me tremendously and I shall never talk to you again. Please do not write me.

Yours sincerely,
I.A.

Ms Adler sealed the envelope carefully and dabbed a rose-scented perfume on the back of the envelope.

There! That should frighten that terrible man a little bit!

She had the maid mailed the letter out urgently.

A week went by and then another, and still no news from a certain Mr. Pinkton.

Ms Adler was highly agitated by now.

Oh that terrible, terrible man! I shall never ever speak with him again!

She sat at her desk and began writing the next nasty letter to Pinkton.

Dear Mr Pinkton,
I was just wondering if you had received my last letter, informing you to never write me again. I hereby, state it again, just in case that last letter was lost, that, You, Mr Pinkton should never ever write me again. I shall burn every last letter that you send my way!

Yours sincerely,
I.A.

The descendants

Read this book some moons ago but forgot to review it...
Heard the movie was pretty good. So decided to borrow the book. Not too bad a read. Set in Hawaii, the story spun around a wife/mother in a coma and how the husband and two daughters dealt with the situation. I only remember the daughters' names were Alex and Scottie and forgot about the rest. I think the wife was Joan or Joanie...something like that.

Scottie , the youngest daughter , seemed to have the hardest time dealing with a vegetable mother. Her mother was a beautiful adventurer and Scottie was hell bent on creating an adventure for herself so that she could have an interesting story to tell her mother. Pretty sad as she knowingly put herself in danger just for a piece of story for Joanie.

The husband inherited a land And was debating whether to keep it or sell it to a developer. The local community opposed the idea of having it sold. The wife had, before her coma, took a very high interest in the land and worked hard to have it sold to a particular developer.

It was at midway through the story that the husband found out that his wife was having an affair with the property dealer , who was the brother in law of the developer.

A very complicated web of lies....

Alex, the elder daughter knew about the affair but did not have the heart to tell her father. Instead she rebelled against her mother and eventually left home.

She told her father the truth one fine day and they went to visit the man at the centre of the messy affairs. He had plotted to tell the man's wife. I can't remember if the husband did just that or the dealer confessed to her about it. But the truth was out and the wife visited Joanie. Joanie was eventually pulled off life support and the husband decided to keep the land for his descendants.

Quite an interesting read. But it makes you wonder what the deal is about marriage, affairs, and all its burden and complications. Sometimes people marry for the most selfish reasons, to satisfy our own yearnings, goals, and to curb our fears of loneliness. Or just for the sale of companionship. It's almost rarely about what we want to give to other party and wanting what's best for him or her. Eventually the other party sees through our motives and selfish goals, and the bubble pops.

And I dreamt you were gone.
When I woke.
I realized it was real.
Not a shadow of you
Left.
In this empty room.
In this empty house.
But you are still there
Beating with my heart.
This crazy push pull
Wanting to expel you
Thoroughly from my life
Yet, wanting so much
That you will stay.
I have to remind myself
That you were never mine
To begin with.
I have lost you.
Because we were both driven by fears.
They say,
You do not need courage
To drive away your fears
That you all need is love.
Perhaps we have never loved.
Perhaps fear has won
And conquered love.
And so, we admit defeat
And say our goodbyes.

Sandra Cisneros-House on mango street

House on mango street was quite a cute read. I wouldn't really call it a story per se; rather it was like a collection of fictitious anecdotes.

It described the neighborhood that little Esperanza Cordero grew up in- mango street. It was a poor neighborhood with plentiful of colorful characters. Esperanza was ashamed of the house she, her parents and siblings lived in and longed to leave mango street (probably by becoming a writer).
Quite a nice read but it probably wouldn't whet the appetite of someone who loves a storyline.

Travelling shoes

I don't wish for a happy ending.
I only wish there could be no ending.
But this is the end.
The traveller in you,
Has blown the dust off your travelling shoes,
Picking them up,
Wearing them,
Moving on,
Walking towards a distant future,
Without me in it.
I could only laugh with you,
As you talked excitably about all the things you will see,
All the people you will meet,
All the girls you will fall in love with.
U packed your bags,
While I packed my heart,
Locked it safe,
And threw away the key.

Books backlog

Year of the zinc penny
Catch 22
Wednesday letters
Hard way (jack reacher series)-lee child
Red mist-Patricia Cornwell

Out of these books I read in the past weeks. I guess I liked year of the zinc penny the most. It tells the story of a young boy and his dysfunctional family during the second world war. its simple, entertaining, compelling. It goes to show that a good story could be about the simplest things with the simplest plot. It doesnt need mystery, intrigue or far fetched characters to make it entertaining.

Catch 22 was a very humorous read but it gets a bit old after a while with all the endless circular reasonings. Sad to say I didn't finish the book. I would probably borrow it again to finish it.

Next best was red mist. I've always loved the Scarpetta series. But this probably wasn't as good as the earlier novels. I'm not sure why but probably coz there's less of a novelty now that I've read practically the entire series.

A bit disappointed with lee child's hard way. The first jack reacher's series I've read. The movie wasn't too bad. But the book was not very compelling and maybe a little too far fetched. But I quite like the character. A militarian man who doesn't care much for rules. Knows the time without a watch. Tall, muscular, and fast thinking. Someone who cares for justice and is kind, and who doesn't care less for material comforts and security. Honestly, he's too fictitious to a fault. Who on earth is like that ?! Sounds more like a marvel or dc superhero.... Without the supernatural powers of course.

Least favorite was Wednesday letters. A tad too romantic for me although it did try not to be too sugary sweet by throwing a little dark story into it. But I like the cute touch at the end of the book. The book came with an envelope pasted on its back cover and in it was a letter made to look handwritten. Quite a nice little surprise.

Paul Theroux- my other life

This is a very interesting mix of fiction and non-fiction, kinda like a half-made up memoir. Reading this book makes me feel that my life is largely unlived! Theroux as Theroux in the book lived in several countries, starting from a volunteering trip to Uganda, then a teaching job in Singapore, to London as a book reviewer and writer, and finally back to the US, his home.

Although I wouldn't really say his life was full of adventures but it was interesting enough to make me wish I could live that.