Tuesday, July 18, 2017


These days I've been enarmored with clouds. Sometimes I get the chance to take a picture, most times I don't. I guess I've been noticing them more ever since having to paint them. I don't think I can ever compete with God when it comes to creating a painting of the sky.
Everyday the sky is a little different. Sometimes the clouds resemble waves, sometimes like a fire, sometimes like marshmallows...
can one ever tire of looking at the skies I wonder.
Yesterday's sky was quite beautiful.. with layers upon layers of wavy clouds....a couple of weeks ago, the clouds were so huge, puffy, and white with grey tones underneath them...like a technique I learnt whereby you dab one end of the brush with white paint and the other end with grey paint to produce a 3D-like effect of a cloud. 2-3 weeks ago, stepping out of Alexandra mall(?), I actually gasped at the sky coz it was filled with gorgeous pink-orange clouds but alas, I forgot to take pictures and now I have forgotten their shapes.

Monday, July 17, 2017


And then instead of writing to potential supervisors, here I am dabbing at calligraphy again... distractions..... haven't used broad nibs for a while. Need some getting used to.
Been reading George orwell's letters. Somehow I wish this is still the letter-writing era but I can't figure out why I am so enarmoured with letters. Maybe because it is more carefully crafted than an email? Maybe there's just something beautiful about reading a hand-written letter? Maybe the beauty lies in the idea that someone went through quite a fair amount of effort just to get a word or two to you...it's funny though that by the time you received a piece of news in the form of a letter, it would have long become history...
Wasn't feeling quite upbeat today and I got even more frustrated when playing the piano. The fingers felt as if they are no longer under my control. I guess it's just a case of the Monday blues. Or so I hope. Some things I wanted to blog about: the idea of karma and schooling. Will reserve that
For another day when I'm less moody.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

I hate the fluidity of time
I hate that we are always racing against time
I hate looking at the clock
And knowing another day is ending.
What if there is no time?
What if there are no days
And nights ?
What if we are suspended always
In one moment in time.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

The World Is Too Much With Us

The world is too much with us; late and soon, 
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;— 
Little we see in Nature that is ours; 
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon! 
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon; 
The winds that will be howling at all hours, 
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers; 
For this, for everything, we are out of tune; 
It moves us not. Great God! I’d rather be 
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn; 
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea, 
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn; 
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea; 
Or hear old Triton blow his wreath├Ęd horn.

Friday, June 30, 2017


I wonder what our world would be like if everyone spoke the truth without censors, without hiding any secrets/innermost thoughts, without schemes, without motives. Would the world be a better place ? Would there be fewer misunderstandings? Or would people just hate each other more? Is the truth the best in all situations? Or should it be withheld and coated with sugar ?
I don't know.
Should I tell you what lies deep in my heart?
Will it change anything that you have set in motion?
Will we be happier or will we worse for wear?
If only we knew.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Maya - jostein gaarder

i read the book halfway more than a decade ago. Decided to give it a try again. This is probably my least favorite among Gaarder's books.
The story revolved around John Spooke, an English writer, frank, a Norwegian biologist and his estranged wife, Vera, Ana Maria Maya, the title character and her husband, Jose. The plot unfolded on a relatively unknown Fijian island- Taveuni. Frank was taken by the Spanish couple when he overheard their conversation of philosophical quotes that mirrored his own thoughts. Frank and John both found Ana familiar but could not recall where they might have met her. John later managed to associate her face with that of a painting by Goya, which left him baffled. How could someone from the past paint someone from the future?
As with Gaarder's past novels, the core/purpose of the book is to toss philosophical questions to its readers. However, I don't find this book as "philosophical" and more, outlandish. Nearing the end of the book, a dwarf who could time travel was introduced and it was suggested that this dwarf took pictures of Ana and time travelled with the pics which were later found by Goya. I got a bit lost at the end. Was this section part of the fictitious work of John Spooke? There was an alternate ending in the last chapter.
Some of the questions the characters dappled with in the book were the purpose of life, eternal life, shared consciousness, etc  As a evolutionary biologist, frank thought that there could not have been an intention to creation/evolution and that living things were a result of accidents. However in the later part of the book when the characters were discussing above the universe, Frank said it would be a terrible waste of space if there was only life on earth. He knew then by stating this sentiment, it implied that there is a creator of the universe and a purpose behind the creation. Some suggested that the purpose of human being's existence was for the universe to experience itself through the human's consciousness.
Frank also had a fear of death. Both Vera and he talked about having an elixir of life and finding someone to share it with. There was also a sub story of a woman possessing this elixir but never finding anyone to give the other half to because she had the benefit of time and too many choices. It's a pretty frightening thought though, to live forever and to have the discernment to share it with the right person. Otherwise, the mistake lives with you forever.
Forever..... I'm not sure at this point in time if I like the idea of eternity, which is kinda funny coming from a Christian. Why are people obsessed with eternal life? I mean I do like the idea of having all the time in the world to do whatever I want, with no fear of time running out or that I would be too decrepit to do something. But eternity is so intense and immense, that it frightens me at the same time. What do you do if you can live forever? I just can't imagine a life like that.
I think the book also touched on reality- how do we know where we are now is real? But honestly can't remember much about this part except for a joker and elves. Only the joker was awaken from his dream and was aware of reality. The elves just continued living in their fantasy worlds.
I recently watched shutter island and it did blow me away. We could create our own realities and we would never know which are real and which are not. Another unrelated thing was what the fictitious Rachel said," once you are declared insane by someone, everything else that u say or do is part of that insanity." It gives me the shudders to think how true that statement is.

Friday, June 2, 2017

Been in a reading drought. Not sure what to read despite the countless of unread books on the shelf. Tried reading Machiavelli's The Prince but I'm not sure if I am that interested in power struggles and politics at this moment in time.
Can't really decide if I should shoulder on or just give up and read something else.

Finding myself glued to the phone or the computer and I just hate that but yet, I can't pull myself away.