Just feels like I’m taking one step forward and two steps back. Not that I lack the courage to leave but I just feel this extreme sadness. I can’t figure out why. Is it simply because I feel apologetic and guilt ridden for disappointing my boss? Is it coz I’m touched by him trying so hard to retain a mediocre staff? I don’t know. Feeling confused and lost all over again. Should I be short changing myself in the name of loyalty? Should I even worry that I will be short changed ? Should I heck care about what the future will bring? But I know deep down if I stay just coz I do not wish to disappoint him, I will end up being bitter should all the promises he made come to naught, or when I feel short changed. And that’s not a place I want to be.