Feel like ive not read anything for ages even though I have been sporadically reading Inferno.
Neither have I been able to write poetries..maybe academics dampen the creativity coz it's just routine and routine and routine.
I really like the LKY/Law campus, it feels a little foreign, as if Ive been transported out of Singapore. to a small, quiet town. Have not had the chance though to just while away the time there with a cuppa coffee and a good book. Maybe after I'm done with stats class.
I really wanted to write something but can't find the words to. Maybe there are some truths/realities that I just dont wish to face/ know.
There's always that insecurity that some things will end, some people will be gone...who can we truly depend on..certainly not human kind.
There was a lunar eclipse, blood moon, blue moon, supermoon tonight but it wasnt too spectacular in Singapore. I wish I could be in the desert with astronomy enthusiasts.
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Saturday, January 27, 2018
I wonder if I made the right decision overloading an extra module when I’ve absolutely no background in economics. Is it worth risking a better CAP? Do grades really matter that much? Or do knowing a little bit more matters more? At the end of the day, who am I doing everything for? Is there some place I’m meant to be, or do all these things not matter cept for the no 1 priority of God. What is it like for someone without a God ? How do decisions, situations etc take on a different meaning for the atheist? Wouldn’t it all seem a little meaningless if you have no other hopes cept for this one life which ends in 80-90 years’ time?
I don’t know.
Haven’t watched a proper movie for some time. These days I just can’t be bothered with wasting my time at the theatres watching something I’ve not really yearned to watch. Back in the teens years, I just soaked in the theatres watching every single movie there was.
Maybe I should watch a horror movie sometime.
I don’t know.
Haven’t watched a proper movie for some time. These days I just can’t be bothered with wasting my time at the theatres watching something I’ve not really yearned to watch. Back in the teens years, I just soaked in the theatres watching every single movie there was.
Maybe I should watch a horror movie sometime.
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Religion as a business
Been having writer's block for weeks..unable to write properly and piece things together for assignment. Wanted to complete the assignment over the weekend..alas, i've failed. been distracted and procrastinating coz i just kept getting stuck. God, i hate this feeling. Maybe I havent start feeling the time crunch yet. Although the semester is the same length as the last, it somehow feels shorter and i'm getting a little antsy thinking about the list of assignments ahead and my thesis. I just pray everything will go smoothly and things will work out.
I so wish that I have the chance to take more modules but a pity that work is a major hindrance. Would have been a better experience if I were a full-time student and not be distracted by a thousand other things.
Re-reading Dante's Inferno. It started out well but then I started to drift and get bored after a while. Somehow it feels as if something is missing from the poem. I guess when it comes to poems, translation just doesnt cut it. Sometimes a word is used not just for its meaning but for the way it sounds, rhymes, or the tone it lends to a piece. When it gets translated, part of the beauty of the poem gets lost.
Wanted to visit the school's library, gym pool, exercise classes during the sem break but didnt get to do it. Such a perfect waste of school fees...
I dont know what to rant about anymore. Had a discussion regarding the church's direction, strategy, etc today. Honestly, running a cell, church, etc can be very corporate-like and although intuitively it feels wrong to associate religion with business, i personally think it's legit in the sense that a lot of the business/marketing/management strategies can be applied to running a religious organisation. We similarly need a vision, mission, specific strategic objectives, action plans, outcomes monitoring and evaluation, survey, stakeholders engagement, corporate communication, marketing for outreach, financing system for sustainability, grantmanship, and even research to better understand your congregation. I wonder how Jesus did it? Did he possess all these skills? How did he manage his "congregation"? How did his work sustain itself through the years? It's an amazing corporation he has built.
I so wish that I have the chance to take more modules but a pity that work is a major hindrance. Would have been a better experience if I were a full-time student and not be distracted by a thousand other things.
Re-reading Dante's Inferno. It started out well but then I started to drift and get bored after a while. Somehow it feels as if something is missing from the poem. I guess when it comes to poems, translation just doesnt cut it. Sometimes a word is used not just for its meaning but for the way it sounds, rhymes, or the tone it lends to a piece. When it gets translated, part of the beauty of the poem gets lost.
Wanted to visit the school's library, gym pool, exercise classes during the sem break but didnt get to do it. Such a perfect waste of school fees...
I dont know what to rant about anymore. Had a discussion regarding the church's direction, strategy, etc today. Honestly, running a cell, church, etc can be very corporate-like and although intuitively it feels wrong to associate religion with business, i personally think it's legit in the sense that a lot of the business/marketing/management strategies can be applied to running a religious organisation. We similarly need a vision, mission, specific strategic objectives, action plans, outcomes monitoring and evaluation, survey, stakeholders engagement, corporate communication, marketing for outreach, financing system for sustainability, grantmanship, and even research to better understand your congregation. I wonder how Jesus did it? Did he possess all these skills? How did he manage his "congregation"? How did his work sustain itself through the years? It's an amazing corporation he has built.
Monday, January 1, 2018
2018
First day of the year and I woke with rashes. Not a great start I guess. Been procrastinating with school stuff, trying to decide what modules to take. A part of me wants to learn something totally different from my field, yet the logical side of me wants to take something relevant to "value-add". However, one of my classmates was right when she said since the organisation is not sponsoring my education, I should do it for myself. Yet I sit on the fence.
I dread going back to school even though I had enjoyed it during the last term. All the things I had wanted to do during the break, are left undone.
Looking back at 2017, there had not been much changes, with the exception of school and the waning fire in God.
I guess the less you do something, the less willing and the less drive you have for it. The key then perhaps is to never take a break from important work.
What have I achieved in 2017? scraping past Grade 7 piano and making it to next sem in school? I had dropped perpetually all church-related work in exchange, even with Sunday School, I've been inconsistent in attendance. Dropped out of LCEC as well coz I just dont find it that meaningful yet. Didnt go on any mission trips even though I did have spare time in December.
On the travel front, didnt go anywhere too far this year- Bangkok, Phuket, Bali, chengdu. I didnt expect to like Chengdu but I did enjoy the trip quite a bit, doing nothing much except for eating and visiting museums and the panda research base. I guess the weather has to do with everything.
What do I want to achieve next year?
Complete MPH, better fitness, internship, master the spencerian script, paint better, play the piano better- the tangible things.
The intangible ones, to grow spiritually and not always feeling that it's others' job to help me grow. And the issue of people... perhaps it's better to drift away, since there aren't going to be any results anyway.;there's just no way things can work out the way everyone wants.
https://www.ted.com/talks/ruth_chang_how_to_make_hard_choices
Read the transcript of this video..It struck a chord with me. There are always hard choices to make; I am not surprised if we spend our entire lives deliberating over choices, regretting them, undoing them, making new choices...Some decisions steer us onto a completely different path, some decisions follow us for the rest of our lives...Wouldnt it be nice if we just "know"? I think sometimes we do possess that innate ability of "knowing" but it is oftentimes drowned out by reasons, by the voices of others, by what society values,by what we think is politically correct. Like what Ruth Chang spoke of on her career choice- lawyer vs philosopher. The heart knew what she wanted but reason overthrew that but for how long could you deny the heart of what it truly wants? In her case, she was brave enough to finally give in to her heart and overhauled her life.
Could we really abandon reason, plausible consequences to follow our hearts? Is it always best to follow the heart?
I dread going back to school even though I had enjoyed it during the last term. All the things I had wanted to do during the break, are left undone.
Looking back at 2017, there had not been much changes, with the exception of school and the waning fire in God.
I guess the less you do something, the less willing and the less drive you have for it. The key then perhaps is to never take a break from important work.
What have I achieved in 2017? scraping past Grade 7 piano and making it to next sem in school? I had dropped perpetually all church-related work in exchange, even with Sunday School, I've been inconsistent in attendance. Dropped out of LCEC as well coz I just dont find it that meaningful yet. Didnt go on any mission trips even though I did have spare time in December.
On the travel front, didnt go anywhere too far this year- Bangkok, Phuket, Bali, chengdu. I didnt expect to like Chengdu but I did enjoy the trip quite a bit, doing nothing much except for eating and visiting museums and the panda research base. I guess the weather has to do with everything.
What do I want to achieve next year?
Complete MPH, better fitness, internship, master the spencerian script, paint better, play the piano better- the tangible things.
The intangible ones, to grow spiritually and not always feeling that it's others' job to help me grow. And the issue of people... perhaps it's better to drift away, since there aren't going to be any results anyway.;there's just no way things can work out the way everyone wants.
https://www.ted.com/talks/ruth_chang_how_to_make_hard_choices
Read the transcript of this video..It struck a chord with me. There are always hard choices to make; I am not surprised if we spend our entire lives deliberating over choices, regretting them, undoing them, making new choices...Some decisions steer us onto a completely different path, some decisions follow us for the rest of our lives...Wouldnt it be nice if we just "know"? I think sometimes we do possess that innate ability of "knowing" but it is oftentimes drowned out by reasons, by the voices of others, by what society values,by what we think is politically correct. Like what Ruth Chang spoke of on her career choice- lawyer vs philosopher. The heart knew what she wanted but reason overthrew that but for how long could you deny the heart of what it truly wants? In her case, she was brave enough to finally give in to her heart and overhauled her life.
Could we really abandon reason, plausible consequences to follow our hearts? Is it always best to follow the heart?
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