I wished you

And I've lost hope
In you
Fallen into despair
Desperately wishing
That you could be here,
For just a moment
But that one second
Is something
You can never give
That little piece of heaven
Is something
That will never belong to me
I wished you
A merry Christmas
I wished you a happy life
I wished you more joy than you can
Ever contain
I wish you nothing but the best
Coz I believe you deserve the best
And that best is not me
That best
Is the one
That you keep on searching for
And those eyes of yours
Will never lay on me.

Superhero you

The superhero you

Going round the world

Saving every dame

Saving every man

But me

The superman you

Who cannot fly

And who cannot

Save me

From going out of my mind

You hide,

Beneath that dark cape,

 Driving round the city

But who,

Never comes around to me.

Have you forgotten?

Have you forgotten to love?

Have you fallen,

For that glory,

That superheroes bask in,

And forgotten,

That I am still here,

Waiting.

Waiting for you to remove your mask,

Waiting for you to remove your cape,

Waiting for you to remember,

That it is me,

Who loves you as you are,

An ordinary man. 

The Stars have the Answer

I stare at the stars...
and wonder...
if I am real...
What am I made of?
Of stardust,
from eons ago.
Is there more to Life,
As I know it?
Or am I just remnants,
from Yesterday?
Nothing more.
From dust to dust.
I return,
to that faithful day,
when everything began.

Scott Fitzgerald- Tender is the Night

This is a book that was probably very close to Fitzgerald's heart. This was his final novel and was written during the time his wife, Zelda was diagnosed with schizophrenia. The character of Dick Diver and Nicole could have been a reflection of him and his wife. Like Zelda, Nicole was diagnosed with schizophrenia and was a patient of a psychiatrist, Dick. They later fell in love and led a life of flamboyance- giving lavish parties and were a very popular couple (the Fitzgeralds were also famous for their partying lifestyles). Nicole was seemingly on her way to recovery and they led a happy life with their children. Then the couple met Rosemary, a budding actress, and Dick and Rosemary fell in love. Nicole's mental health deteriorated and this frustrated Dick, as he was the seemingly caregiver of Nicole. However, things took a change when Nicole fell in love with their mutual friend, Tommy, and proceeded to divorce Dick and marry Tommy. Everything went downhill for Dick as he became an alcoholic and was removed from the successful clinic he owned with a partner (with Nicole's money).


I am neutral with this book, not really loving it nor hating it. But the characters in the story were real and complex and its well-worth the read, as I think Fitzgerald has quite a way with weaving his characters.

Kathryn Stockett-The Help

There was quite a lot of hype around the movie version of the book. Didnt get to watch the movie though. The story was set in the 60s, in the south of America, when helpers were still a common sight and were assumed by Blacks. The main theme of the book was that of racism, whereby the Whites look upon their help as lesser beings. Hilly and Skeeter were the main shows in the book. Hilly, an outspoken and proudly racist woman, wanted all households to implement a separate bathroom for their helps, this spurred Skeeter to want to give the helps a voice. She began recruiting various helps to share their perceptions and the stories of their lives in Whites household.

Skeeter herself had a Black nanny when she was young but who disappeared all of  sudden, one fine day. She eventually found out that it was her mom who had sent her away as she had gotten pregnant with a White child.

Although the book was a bestseller, I didnt quite find it believable. I felt that the characters, especially the helps, were too contrite and too cliched. It feels a bit too....textbook-like, with no originality.

Geling Yan- Flowers of War

I knew about this book after watching its movie trailer. The trailer was filmed really beautifully by Zhang Yimou and I had wanted to watch it but somehow did not get a chance to. The story was set in 1937 Nanking during the Japanese invasion of China. A group of choir girls was hiding in a cathedral under the care of a priest, Father Engelmann. There wasnt really too much going on in the book. It talked about the petty quarrels of the girls, the arrival of wounded soldiers, and a group of flamboyant of courtesans. Four different groups of people of different backgrounds, trying to survive the cold winter and the war, it should have made an interesting story. I think there wasnt meant to be any intricate plot. It was just a simple, beautiful story of colorful characters that drew you into that tragic time and era. Quite a nice piece of literature to read.

Anthony Horowitz- House of Silk: A Sherlock Holmes Story

The writing style of the book is very similar to Arthur Conan Doyle, and that is rather commendable for a modern day writer to mimic one from the 1800s. This is what is called a pastiche- a borrowing of styles/ themes from other sources. The story as always was written through the eye of Dr Watson, Holmes' sidekick (every hero needs one, don't they?), after the death of Holmes and when it was safe, to reveal the case. The House of Silk case involved important public figures as well as a royal family, and hence was never written or reported until many years later.

Holmes was approached by an art dealer, Edmund Carstairs, whose paintings were believed to have been stolen by a group of thugs. Holmes then hired a group of wayward youth to follow a suspect. One of the boys, Ross, subsequently was murdered. Then began a whirlwind chase, with Holmes ending up in prison for framed murder. Of course his wits and mostly luck, I must add, got him out of prison and thus, saving his life. The prison break was rather unbelievable, as I do not really think that anyone could be so lucky! However, apart from that, the story was quite well-written.

The House of Silk though was a rather strange concept... whether it could have existed in the 1800s, is quite questionable. But who knows, right?

Read this book if you are a Sherlock Holmes fan, or a crime fiction one.

Spell

The spell has broken 

I have lost you 

To the other world

Which you truly belong. 

The darkness in my world 

Doesn't lift

Forever nights they say,

Once you lose the one 

You love. 

In this eternal darkness, 

I walk alone,

Till the ends of the earth.

Outtakes from a Marriage-Ann Leary

Not exactly a great book as it is quite full of cliches. But life sometimes is just a bunch of cliches. This book tells a story of a famous actor and his wife. Wife found a suspicious voicemail on husband's phone, found out he had an affair, blah blah blah... The book gives one a glimpse into the Hollywood life but I think that's all that there is. But it is entertaining enough for me to finish the book, so I wouldnt say it is that bad. But all in all, a forgettable read.

Chang And Eng-Darin Strauss

Had only heard of the musical and didnt know it was a novel.. Quite a strange, entertaining read. Chang and Eng are non-fictitious characters from Siam in the 1800s. Strauss had however, spun a strange, fictitious story of the lives of the conjoined twins. The climax of the story began when the two brothers fell in love with a pair of sisters, Adelaide and Sarah Yates. Sarah had previously fell in love with a black slave and caused him to be hung. This had resulted in the sisters never being able to find good husbands to marry. Along came Chang and Eng, and the sisters found their route to having a family of their own. Chang the cheeky and humourous one, was married to Adelaide, the spitfire, and Eng, the serious, learned one, was married to the duller Sarah. Eng later fell in love with Adelaide but being joined to Chang, he had no way of expressing his love for Adelaide. Except for one night, thinking that Chang was dead drunk, Eng kissed Adelaide. What happened next was heartaching. The house that the two brothers and their families burnt down one night and only until much later, Chang confessed to setting the house ablaze, as he hadnt been asleep that night.

It is a rather sad story, with Eng wanting to be separated from his brother, and Chang not wanting to. It is definitely a painful thing to be joined at the hips to someone else and never beimg able to have your own privacy and solitude.

The Platters-My Prayer

great song by the Platters. It was played in the scene when Benjamin Button went sailing on his late father's boat. I'm not sure if many knew that the movie was based on the short story by Scott Fitzgerald..I had only realised it when looking for The Great Gatsby some time ago in the library and chanced upon "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". Fitzgerald was inspired by another literary hero Mark Twain, who remarked that "Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18." Some other sources quoted the phrase differently: "It is a pity that the best part of life comes at the beginning, and the worst part at the end." I am not sure if he is being funny, sarcastic, or he truly meant what he said. Is the end always the worst part? Perhaps it isn't... if you have lived your life the way you wanted it to be lived, and there is nothing else you wish to change, nothing else you wish to hang on to... perhaps the end could be the best part of your life, when you leave with good memories. The beginning of life, seriously, what do we remember?! But of course, I do not doubt the beauty and power of youth. With youth, you can afford the energy and time to make mistakes, to venture into new territories without fears that you might be wasting precious time. But it is also a pity that sometimes we do not cherish our youth while we have it. I realise now that I had not taken the advantage of youth to live a little fearlessly. Oftentimes, I did not have the courage to step out of the comfort zone, or the courage to hurt someone else even though by not doing that, the person that ends up losing the most, is myself. Even now, it is the same...I guess "we are who we are, people don't change"....

George Orwell-Animal Farm

I had came across and half-read this book when I was about 9. I think at that age, I had thought the book was what it was, a story about strange, talking animals. Re-read this book 2 weeks ago and honestly, I don't think I fared any better in understanding the historical basis the book was written on. However, I dont't think Orwell was trying very hard to disguise his distaste for Stalin and his administration (the author's note blatantly stated so as well).

It is rather ironic that after the revolution against the humans and working hard to upkeep the farm, the animals returned to not only the starting point, but at a seemingly lesser place. The pigs, especially Napolean, reminded me a lot of charismatic politicians, who are able to persuade others to do the dirty work for them without lifting a finger and having these "workers" do so, without a single word of complaint. That is the power of persuasion and it something that very few people could master.

The saddest character of the story was that of Boxer, the work horse. His mantra was "I must work harder". He had never questioned what and why he was working hard for and never once complaint that most of the workload fell on his shoulders. When he could no longer work, he looked forward to the promise of a retirement home but never got it. Instead, he was sent to the slaughter house by the pigs. Heart-breaking....

Into The Wild

Finished the book a couple of weeks ago. Pretty interesting read. The book mentioned several other individuals who like Chris, decided to live different lives, away from society. I once thought the life of a hermit would be pretty awesome, as it saves you the frustration of dealing with human beings, and the complexities of relationships, responsibilities, etc. but of coz the life as a hermit comes with a price.. Boredom, fewer resources, no affection and comfort when you need them,etc. I think these people were a little extreme in their lifestyle choices and sad to say, some of them ended up killing themselves or met with accidents... It's the same with Chris McCandles... I guess his reckless youth was the cause of his death. To go into the wild without a proper map, resources, training, is as good as issuing yourself a death sentence. And I seriously do not think he had any intentions to end his life, even though there were speculations that he had a death wish. He had asked for help and had hoped that passerbys would see his SOS note and rendered him assistance. But it was too bad that hikers found him a little too late. It's a terrible waste of life. And I just can't bring myself to admire his lifestyle although I do admire his courage in doing what he felt was right and giving up the sense of comfort/ security of his life. I think I would have admired him more if he had been a little less idealistic and went to live in the wilderness with the proper tools and resources. I found him a little irresponsible as well. Sometimes we have to realize that our decisions and actions can have an impact on the people around us, and it is naive and selfish to think that "This is my life and I am free to do whatever I want with it".

Into the wild

Been trying to look for this book. Saw part of the movie and thought it seemed rather interesting. The book talks about the travels of Chris mcCandless, who despite having a scholarship for college, dropped everything and wandered the US with the bare minimals. He later hitchhiked his way to Alaska and even adopted a moniker called Alex supertramp. Unfortunately, the young man was later found dead in an abandoned bus in Alaska. The cause of his death is still under speculation. I just find it rather interesting how someone could one day wake up and decided to change the course of his life. Most people would have followed the crowd and took the path most travelled- College, career, marriage,kids. To pursue the life of a homeless man when you have a bright future ahead of you seems counterintuitive. Thought it might be interesting if the book, written by Jon krakauer, could tell the readers why Chris chose the life he did.

Trapped

Here I am lost again.
Trapped in your web of lies.
I've gotten myself entangled again.
In that make-believe world you've built.
I long to leave.
I long for that taste of freedom.
Which eludes me yet again.
I have nowhere to run to
No safe haven.
Running in circles
Back to that darkness
I long to escape from.

Half Broke Horses-Jeannette Walls

Another compelling book by Jeannette Walls. This is sorta like a prequel to The Glass Castle, which I had previously reviewed. Half Broke Horses is a biography on Jeannette Walls' late grandmother, an amazing woman who was fearless and unafraid to break traditions. Interestingly, the book was written in the first person and I am pretty impressed at how Walls managed to revive the spirit of her grandmother. You can almost believe that the book was written by Lily Casey Smith herself.

Lily Casey Smith was born on a farm and at a young age, was able to tame half broke horses that people might have given up on. She was the tough one amongst the three Smiths, while her youngest sister was the pretty one that everyone thought would have a bright future. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Lily's sister had dreams of Hollywood but never quite made it. Instead, she got herself pregnant and later killed herself when she could not live with the humiliation.

Lily's resume would have impressed many, even at this age and time. She was a rancher, teacher, pilot, horse tamer (she could put many a cowboys to shame), etc. She had a lot of gumption, uprooting herself from home on a horse and travelled for months just to accept a teaching job. She seemed to be invincible! I wished we could all be a little more like her, be a little less fearful, not afraid of taking risks, love adventures a little more....

I think all women should read this book, in the hope of finding that adventurer hiding in us...

Still Missing- Chevy Stevens

If there is a razzies award for books, this book should definitely be on the list. The plot is old, the writing is dry, and it doesn't engage the reader in any way nor does it seem too convincing a story.

Annie Sullivan was a successful realtor who was abducted by a Freak( as she calls him), who kept her locked up in a cabin as his make-believe wife. Anne Sullivan subsequently bore a child with the freak, only to have him smothered the baby to death. After her baby died, she finally plucked up the courage to put an axe through the freak's head. There werent too many suspects in the story to keep you from guessing who the mastermind was. Zero points for intrigue.

The writing was also pretty messy. The author jumped from one past event to the future and then to the present. Anne Sullivan was also constantly relating the entire story to a shrink ( the reader, if you will) but the dialogue seemed too contrite and unrealistic.

It makes me wonder how the book got published. Stroke of luck maybe?

A Homemade Life-Molly Wizenberg

This book reminds me of Julie Powell's Julie and Julia; both authors started out as blog writers with a passion for food. However, this book comes with a bonus!! Tons of recipes!! One of the better books I've read. Each recipe comes with a funny, sad, or heartwarming anecdote. I love reading the cute stories of wizenberg's quirky father- Burg. And the way the author met her future husband, brandon,through her blog, was pretty romantic. The book is honest and funny and feels like warm soup on a cold day!! A recommended read for food lovers, with or without a passion for cooking.

Missing

Have I lost it?
The tinkling in the toes
The tinkering of the heart
The twinkling of the eyes 
The ever changing tide
Washing ashore all my sorrows
But The darkness of yesterdays
Remained,
Never going out to sea.
The manic wind
Blew away all hopes
And still the dark sand beneath my feet,
Remained.
I'm half a person
Coz you have never arrived 
On the shore
Which I stood waiting
The soft whining of my heart
Begs to be still
And Still I wait
For that little hope
Called You. 

Those black diamonds in the sky,
That you once said you loved,
Disappeared like ninjas in the night. 
I could never find them
Just like I could never find you.
We are all lost souls
In the wilderness of life
Always searching
For that missing You.