needed to vent and wanted to just write about how life is like a never ending to-do list. Funnily, the post that came up when i typed the blog's address into the search bar, was a post i wrote in Sep 2021, saying the exact same thing. Feeling extremely tired and anxious about the million and one things i have to do and which seem to never get struck off my to-do list. I seemingly have a ton of to-dos in my work, school, personal development, fitness, home improvement projects, hobbies, etc. lists. And that's not even including the time i need for family, friends. I seem to be running out of time or am I just running too slow to stay in the game? 

Days like these I just wish I have the speed, focus, and capabilities of a superhuman. 

Pride

Sometimes the best gifts can be a curse if we are not careful and learn how to temper our arrogance and pride. 

 Took leave which was meant to be a farewell gathering for janie but ended up spending the entire day moping and crying. Part of me wondered why I had allowed myself to stake my entire life on this place, that if shit happens, I’ll be miserable and stuck with nowhere else to go. Yet part of me knows that there is nowhere else I really want to be. Some incidents woke me up and I realised that sometimes the truth is right before my eyes, and yet the sweet lies are so comforting, that I knowingly buy into them despite myself. There were decisions that I knew in my guts, were wrong but I didn’t trust myself and overanalysed everything and ended up being more wrong than ever. Such is life. I should surrender myself to my guts next time. 

 I just feel like I’ve been making all the wrong decisions since the resignation hooha last year. Although perhaps that’s the one thing I still feel I did right, everything else that happened since then just filled me with regrets. I should really start all over again. 

Price tag

Suppose it doesn’t take much for one to lose trust in another person. Price tag:$20

I suppose it’s much easier to find an employee who’s smart, clever, capable but perhaps, not an easy feat to find someone of good character. I realise that people are becoming more and more competitive, and there’s this urgency to outshine each other. We want to lay claim to every success, ensuring that we get due recognition for all that we do. We do things not because we genuinely care but because we want to impress the boss and others. I have seen it oftentimes that desperate need to make it known to the boss, that we are doing this and that, burdening the boss with one too many details and unnecessary emails because we have to take credit for every little thing we do. There’s no teamwork, no sharing of resources, no sharing of credits. Everything is about me and mine, mine, mine. It appalls me the length people go to, to make themselves look good at the expense of others. Thing is, whatever u think u r doing in secret, will somehow come to light one day. 

Wonder why life is like a never ending to-do list. Can one be truly happy and contented without pursuits?