Lazy days

been lazy these days- not painting, reading little, not writing... spent my time watching random YouTube videos, playing games... ugh. I feel sorry for the time wasted on nothing.

Last week's study was on Revelations chpt 14.... someone mentioned that there is a possibility that it will be heaven on earth after the last days. Instead of us thinking of heaven as a place up there, earth will be restored to God's original plan of a Garden of Eden. Hence we should do our part for this coming "restoration"- caring for the environment and other social concerns.

Perhaps that's true although I couldn't wrap my head around it at first. My thoughts had always been that this earth is deteriorating, that no matter what we do, it is futile- we are just heading for self-destruction. Morbid? Yes but that's the law of entropy, isn't it? I don't see how in my finite mind that the earth could be transformed to paradise. But all these don't really matter, whether it is heaven on earth or a new heaven..I believe somehow that this life is just a dress rehearsal...
Yes we need to be concerned about the environment, people, social issues, etc because all of these belong to God and we are called to be stewards of His creation. In this life, we hone ourselves to be better stewards such that when earth is restored to perfection, history will not repeat itself  because those who are in it, have prep a lifetime for this.

At cell today, I was saying how "split" I feel at times- being a different person when I am in different company. Which of me is my true self? The beer swigging one, the meek church mouse, the tactless sharp tongue one, the diplomatic one? But I think perhaps all of us are like that.. some maybe more so than others.. I don't know.

Hadn't done the review for Neil Gail nan's truth is a cave in the black mountains. Man, this book gave me the creeps just like the ocean at the end of the lane. I can't put my finger on it but there's just something sinister in the things he writes...

Need to get things organized, scheduled and then sticking to the schedule.
Really need to paint and start taking online courses and getting my project sorted out. Been procrastinating and procrastinating.... procrastination is a disease that eats at you.

I agree that the things we regret the most are those we didn't do, rather than those we did. Even if things ended up badly because of what we did, oftentimes there is a lesson to take away from it. But for things we didn't do, what lessons do we draw from them? Nothing...