Left for dead - beck weathers

Got this book in the airport of Pokhara for usd4! Can't really beat the price of books in Nepal. 

I can't seem to decide if I like this book. It feels like a trashy tabloid at times and yet, it was relatively interesting enough to keep me reading (tho' some parts just felt like a couple whining about each other). The survival of Beck Weathers was an unexplainable miracle and I was quite captivated by that story. Both Yatsuko (a Japanese woman who was on her 7th summit) and Weathers were stranded overnight on Everest and exposed to a freak storm. Yatsuko didn't survive and it looked as if weathers wasn't going to as well, which explained the title of the book. However, Weathers suddenly awoke from his "coma" after "seeing" his family and despite suffering severe frostbite to his face and hands and being blind, he managed to make his way back to the camp. I enjoyed the part when Madan the pilot, wanting to test whether he possessed the heart of a warrior, agreed to go on the risky Med evac of weathers. It amazes me how someone would risk their own life for a total stranger. 

The exciting bits of the book were obviously the summiting of Everest and the rescue. The darker bits were when he talked about the "black dog" in his life, which drove him to his mountaineering madness. I guess subconsciously, Weathers did wish for death, thereby risking his life for that adrenaline rush and giving up his family in the midst. He himself mentioned that at one point in his life, he was seriously considering ending it all. A psychiatrist later confirmed the same and advised his wife to surrender all the guns in their home. I guess a lot of times when we are trying to escape that hollowness we feel in our lives, we busy ourselves with a million other distractions to deny that we have a problem. This is especially true I think, when we ourselves are convinced that with such a blessed life, we are not entitled to be depressed or to have that feeling of emptiness. We all have to face our demons some day although sometimes we may be too late. In the case of Weathers, it took a near-death experience for him to recognize his problems and to learn what were the truly important things in life-love. In a way he was lucky. Some people lose their lives before they could ever learn such truths. I guess the book deserves a 3/5 rating.  

Who am I?

Who am I ?

What defines us ? 

At a first meeting, we ask of each other what do we do. It's funny why we even bother asking that question. If I were to say that I am a nurse/a teacher/an astronaut, does that tell you who I am as a person ? 

Is my work an extension of who I am? If I were to lose my job, do I naturally becoming nothingness? 

Who am I? 

The one who loves storms?

The one who loves the sound of rain ?

The ones who loves old records and all the glory of their scratchy sounds? 

The one who loves the blueness and vastness of the ocean?

The one who dreams of a log cabin in the woods?

The one who loves to walk in the cold?

The one who loves the mountains?

The one who loves a library of books, a fireplace, a cosy leather armchair, a cup of coffee and something furry at her feet? 

The one who loves dreams more than reality?

The one who fears the word "no"?

The one who hates the dark but loves the stars?

The one who feels guilty for not living a god-pleasing life?

The one who lacks courage and strength to obtain the things she wants?

The one who worries too much? 

The one who loves sad love songs?

The one who loves pink candy floss?

The one who cries at movies and books?

The one who lies because she thinks others can't accept the truth?

The one who used to dream of being an astronaut?

The one who can't believe in dreams anymore?

The one who is always thinking of a new place to explore? 

The one who feels she's running out of time?

The one who always gives things and people up because the fear of losing always wins ?

The one, the one, the one.

The wandering heart

Here I am again, itching to get out of the country. It's really driving me up the wall-this never ending thirst to wander. 

Kinda wish i was a travel writer. 

This internal chaos, I wish it would go away soon. 

I wish and I wish.... 

Read derek low's blog and the train experience seemed so enticing yet, I wonder if in reality, it would be really boring being stuck for hours and days on a train. Or maybe not. 

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”

JRR Tolkien

Hundred foot journey- Richard morais

Very lovely read. Watched the movie first and I loved it; the book is equally good although a tad different from the movie.

The book is practically all about food. The Hajis ran a successful restaurant in India before it got burnt down during a mob attack, killing Hassan Haji's mother in the process. Grief-stricken, the entire family moved to London, where they continued to mourn their loss. When Hassan was discovered to have a "thing" going on with his cousin, the family yet again, was on the move. They drove through Europe till the car broke down in Lumiere, a small countryside, in France. There they settled down opposite a 2-Michelin star restaurant ran by a sharp and snobbish woman - Gertrude Mallory. Mallory displayed a sense of xenophobia towards the Hajis, especially when they decided to convert their mansion into an Indian restaurant. The garish decor and loud Hindi music did not sit well with the refined taste of the French lady. To check out her competition, Mallory decided to eat at the Hajis' restaurant and upon that first bite into Hassan's fish curry, okra, crispy liver dish, she knew instantly that Hassan was a bornt chef. Fearful that the restaurant would be a threat, Mallory began plotting to have the restaurant shut down. During one confrontation with Hassan's father (Abhas), a shove from Mallory caused Hassan to suffer burns at the stove. Mallory began to seek forgiveness from the family and begged Abhas to let Hassan be her apprentice. She succeeded after a hunger strike. For the next two decades, Hassan became a rising star in the culinary world and finally set up his own restaurant in Paris, where he went on to clinch the prestigious and rare 3-Michelin star status. 

What enticed me most about this book is the way the author described the food and wine so, I don't know, knowledgeably. I loved the part where he named the features of all the different oysters, with the best being (lurida) from Puget sound in America, much to the annoyance of Mallory who believed the best oysters were from Britanny. 

In Paris, Hassan befriended Paul Verdun, a top chef, who worked diligently to preserve the classic French cuisine, when molecular dining was all the rage. Verdun later committed suicide as he was in debt and his restaurant was flailing. Hassan fell into depression as he could see his future in Verdun's. Something then snapped in him and he decided to do away with all the fanciful and elaborate cooking style and to return to the true essence of the ingredients used in his dishes. This idea was what eventually won him his 3rd star. 

It's not a very "mind-blowing" story but I liked that it's simple, detailed and well-researched. Would give it a 4/5 rating. 

Made up my mind to hate you,

But I never could. 

Made up my mind to give up on you,

But I never did. 

The heart, it does what it wants to,

Till it aches and it breaks.

It runs head-on into that wall that you have built,

It shatters but it tries to mend.

Tis' old heart, tis' old madness,

Why does it love to play the fool?

Travel journals

Tried to journal the Nepal trip and I did but it's all rather mundane and straight to the point, as I was too tired to give it much thought. Felt extremely blue when Monday rolled around and I had to go back to work. The two environments were just so vastly different that I needed time, I guess, to adapt back to life here, which is kinda hilarious given that i'd only been gone for two weeks. 

There's again this strange feeling that I do not belong here and I began reminiscing the time spent in the villages, where there was absolutely nothing to do (no tv, no wifi, only a small lightbulb in the room). I'd slept at 8-9pm there and woke up at 6am. With all the distractions in Sg, I could never do that. 

I also wonder if I have overly romanticized the village life. There was one time where I felt a little claustrophobic in the mountains, that dreadful "trapped" feeling because you know there's no way you can get out of the mountains anytime you want. I guess I have a love-hate relationship with the mountains but here I am missing that life and wishing myself back there again. 

For the past few days, I've been thinking whether comfort is really what we are always striving to attain. Is comfort really that important? Or is life more exciting with a little discomfort? Is this why we put ourselves in difficult places, just so to feel alive. In a lot of situations, we tend to take the easy way out, even in love sometimes, we seek an easy, comfortable companionship because we hate discomfort right? 

But I'm beginning to feel that comfort isn't really all that matters. Good to have sometimes but not all the time. 

Anyway, back to Nepal. I do think it's a photographer's heaven. The sights are incredible and it's not just about the mountain range but the people, the streets, everything. Kathmandu is practically covered in dust but I thought it lent this foggy, dreamlike feel to the city. In a rather "brown" city, the blue doors of shops, the brightly-colored clothes of the people, the multi-colored prayer flags and powder street vendors sold, made them interesting subjects to photograph.

I think it's really awesome to be able to let others see things through your eyes with a photograph, and yet, there's so much more the viewer is missing out on- the smells, the sounds, the feel, the vibe, which kinda nullify the idea of an armchair traveller.