Stiff upper lip

Today's alpha hit the nail on the head. Nicky gumbel spoke of "emotionalism" and the Brits lack thereof of emotions, especially in public. This is why we always associate a stiff upper lip with the Brits. I think I might have been a Brit borne into an Asian body for having the exact same feelings regarding any public display of emotions. This was one of the reasons I refused to be prayed for twice during the alpha "Holy Spirit" weekend, and again at church camp. I was afraid i would cry as from time to time I felt strange stirrings of emotions for no apparent reason. Today the same thing happened. I struggled like hell whether to be prayed for but seeing everyone do it, I felt odd not following (yes I'm the mindless type of crowd follower) and so I did. And what I feared most and did not want happen most came true. I sobbed like crazy in front of colleagues who came for alpha and it just kept coming in waves thereafter for the next 2 hours. I thought God was being funny but I know it might have been necessary for something like this to happen. To give up control over ourselves, our lives. God slowly breaks down our defences when we try so hard not to be vulnerable, when we try so hard to control things. At long last, He shows us He is Lord over us that all we can do is surrender.