People will always believe what they want to believe. There’s really no use in trying to explain oneself.

Sometimes I wonder my carefulness with words is a curse or a blessing. I wish I could be more candid and speak the truth freely but I can’t. Always calculating the consequences and the what ifs. I wonder how others do it, being so careless. Perhaps you do need a certain level of selfishness because all you are concerned about are your own feelings and not thinking about how your words will affect others .

In vino veritas...
Even in a stupor, my censors still seem to be working... how odd

The week’s been a busy one. Lotsa strange things happened and I haven’t had time to properly digest the chain of events. Been feeling unsettled and finding myself wishing everything could return to normal but I’m not sure if it ever will. I’ve been asking myself if I’d ever done anything that could have caused misunderstandings and in all honesty, I couldn’t find any. What do all these mean? It just makes me more disheartened than ever at relationships, love, marriage...the picture that others paint is often not what it seems.

Sometimes I wonder why did I allow myself to be someone else’s doormat, at someone else’s beck and call, and the receiving end of unreasonable criticisms. I guess I’m done. We’ll eventually slip out of each other’s lives. So why bother ?

It’s one of those days when I just felt like retreating into my cave. Didn’t respond to any messages coz I just couldn’t find the energy to. I guess maybe I am tired of people. The need to communicate. The need to do things. I wonder if I’m having more and more of such days. Today’s susan’s Birthday. Third year of missed celebration.

Where’s Wally?

Found an old calendar that has “where’s wally?” on it, so I played. 

Halfway through the pages, this game reminded me of how finding wally is analogous to finding a perfect partner. There’s often chaos and the “almost-wallys” that you have to contend with. Sometimes we get detracted from our search and settle for the almost-wallys because we have given up hope of ever finding Wally or we just couldn’t tell the impostors from the real thing. Almost-wallys will do because the real Wally doesn’t exist. Or does he? So then, where’s wally?