Haven’t been keeping track of the books I’ve read.
Read Harper lee’s Go set a watchman, Joseph crespino’s Atticus Finch- a biography, Antoine st-exupery’s flight to arras , jay parini’s the last station, and Jonathan franzen’s the discomfort zone,
Not much. Was a tad disappointed with go set a watchman and understood why from Atticus Finch that tho it was written prior to To kill a mockingbird, it wasn’t published first. Didn’t enjoy flight to areas as well. It was a little dry and kinda all over the place. Jay parini’s last station was about Tolstoy’s last days. Although it was a nice idea, I didn’t like the writing style. It lacked a certain poetic quality to it. In the last station, Tolstoy became increasingly uncomfortable with the lavishness he lived in as it was incompatible with the teachings of humility and simplicity he extolled. He became intolerant of his wife as she still hung desperately to materialism. Oftentimes, we do not examine what our values are, what others values are, nor discuss openly about these things with the significant people in our lives. We then live in misunderstandings and disillusionment.
Anyway I enjoyed the discomfort zone, which was a raw and honest autobiography of sort about puberty, family, marriage, books, politics and in a weird section birding. Some books I wanted to read from the book - Kafka’s The Trial, Rilke’s notebooks of malte Laurids brigge, the magic mountain

Nowadays I find myself wanting to conserve energy for better things, and better human beings.
Some people’s selfishness is just beyond my understanding and I’d rather just not waste anymore of my time on them.

And I weep

You’ve forgotten,
Love is pure.
By the sirens’ call,
Your heart was lured.

At your feet,
Gathers the remnants
Of love trampled,
And of hearts stolen.

A requiem you sang
For the heart asleep
For the love you massacred
And then I weep

For I’ve awaken from my reverie.

紅笑臉 紅裙 紅絲巾
白紙般 坦率還天真
一對眼 水晶般吸引
流轉的舞步 像浮雲

忘記你 但仍然想起
愈想起 更加難入寐
緊抱你 抱緊的只得空氣
明知得不到你 何必再要記起

一絲絲 一點點 燒毀憶記
一幅幅 一聲聲 又復燃起
怎麼捨得你 任由我 腸斷至死

戀一生 差一些 不可一起
只一心 等一天 日月如飛
卻等不到你 願忘記 又想起你

情與愛 是無從更改
未更改 卻因何分開
失去你 才明白未可捨棄
但始終祝福你 寧願我這田地

一絲絲 一點點 燒毀憶記
一幅幅 一聲聲 又復燃起
怎麼捨得你 任由我 腸斷至死

戀一生 差一些 不可一起
只一心 等一天 日月如飛
卻等不到你 願忘記 又想起你

一絲絲 一點點 燒毀憶記
一幅幅 一聲聲 又復燃起
怎麼捨得你 任由我 腸斷至死

戀一生 差一些 不可一起
只一心 等一天 日月如飛
卻等不到你 願忘記 又想起你

In sickness and in health

Oftentimes we paint the perfect picture of our future. Brushing aside the possibilities that perhaps the future’s not gonna be as rosy as we thought it would be.

I wonder how many of us would be willing to shoulder the burdens of “in sickness”. Would we begin to see the caregiving as burdens or acts of true love.
Are we there for only the good times? Do we love someone because of their “worth” to us, because we need them, whether it’s for the company, the entertainment, or simply because they love us more.

During this time, I began to see who are the ones who only pay lip service and who are the ones to really step up and shoulder all the responsibilities because they truly care. I begin to see who are the dependable ones and who are the ones whose shadows you could barely glimpse because there’s nothing in it for them.

You chased after the wind because you believe there’s true joy in doing so.
You chased after the wind because that’s the only way you know.
You chased after the wind because you no longer believe in love that’s pure.
You chased after the wind because the whole world’s on it.

motorcycle diaries -- Che Guevera

just started on this book, while being halfway through chasing the last laugh, which narrates Mark Twain's journey round the world being a stand up comedian to clear his debts during his silver years. Never knew he was a comedian.
Anyway back to che... it just strikes me how fearless he and alberto were, dropping out of school and travelling around latin america with barely a dime to their name, on a dingy motorbike. I think these days one can hardly find people like that. We have all been conditioned to think that our life course should be graduate from college, find a job, get married, buy a house, have kids, earn enough to retire. We crave safety, routine, comfort. and it's so easy to get trapped in this cycle. once u earn a certain amount of salary, acquire things, it becomes difficult to let them go even when we know these things hold no real value. We chase after what everyone else wants, what everyone thinks are important, never stopping once to reflect if these are the things our hearts desire too, and what they really mean to us.
How do we get out of this rat race? i dont know.

been on a slippery slope for the longest time
without God at the centre of your life
one chases after all the wrong things
making all the wrong decisions
for a moment's pleasure
for a moment's folly.