A writer's diary- Virginia Woolf

I enjoyed Virginia Woolf's prose a lot; she had a flair for creating sentences that fill you with amazement at its creativity and beauty. The book is as the title exemplifies, all about her struggles with writing, books she read, her association with other writers, etc. it gives the impression that writing is her life, the sole purpose of her living. She was just so preoccupied with it- writing in her diary, drafting her novels, writing book reviews... she wrote of her anxieties over others' opinions of her novels- she cared too much whether others like it but eventually she managed to convince herself that what others thought were ic no significance to her.
I didn't manage to finish the book, had to return it to the library. I must admit after reading half the book it did get a little boring.
What I admired about Woolf is that she was constantly honing her craft and also had this deep interest in reading- oftentimes planing her reading list, ensuring to vary it and including Greek and French into her reading.

Sense and sensibility - Jane Austen

Didn't like the book although it was quite refreshing to read something different from the usual. The prose I am not sure, felt a little stiff and awkward. The plot felt frivolous. Nobody in the book seemed to have a real job. All everyone did was to hold dinner parties, play card games, getting engaged.... Elinor Dashwood and her younger sister, Marianne Dashwood were the main characters of the book. Elinor was the more sensible, rational, and austere one, while Marianne was the prettier and spoilt one. Marianne met Willoughby when she and Elinor were racing home and she fell- cue Willoughby to the rescue. Willoughby and Marianne soon grew close and Marianne thought that he was going to propose to her for sure. However, Willoughby went unheard from and subsequently Marianne came to know he had gotten engaged and was to marry soon. The reason he turned his back on her was that he needed money and hence, had chosen to marry a wealthier woman. Marianne had another quiet suitor in Colonel Brandon, a much older man who was less exciting that Willoughby. Marianne grew ill and Elinor kept watch by her side while she too was nursing a broken heart. She and Edward Ferrars were too meant to be engaged but she later learnt that Edward was already engaged to a dull and uneducated women- Lucy Steele. In a twist of fate and after some misunderstandings, she finally learnt that Lucy Steele had married Edward's brother instead. She was elated. All's well that ends well- Marianne married colonel brandon and Elinor married Edward ferrars.

I wonder what's the charm in this book? Why is it even popular? Really strange.

Battle hymn of the tiger mother- Amy Chua

Quite enjoyed the book although I found the tiger mom extremely ridiculous and perhaps bordering on insanity. The book's main focus strangely was on music lessons and not eg schoolwork, grades, etc. she did say though getting an A- was unacceptable and taking part in eg school plays is a waste of time. Her children were not allowed to learn any other instruments except for the piano and violin. I am not sure why this is so... neither do I understand why excelling in music was her topmost priority for her kids. To me music is a hobby, something that's meant to be enjoyed. However, for the tiger mom music was a source of pride and ego. Making her kids practice 6 hours a day is just insane. It's funny though how Sophia, the elder daughter could tolerate such harsh drills and still enjoyed the instrument. For her younger daughter, lulu, however, things turned awry. The hatred that was building inside her came to blows while on a family holiday in Russia- Lulu threw a glass and screamed at Amy Chua in a cafe- a totally brattish behavior that Amy Chua thought would never happen in her children. It was striking when Lulu told Chua one day not to ruin tennis for her the way she ruined violin.
Lulu had loved the violin and was enormously talented at the instrument-auditioning at Julliard and obtaining concertmaster status at a young age. Unfortunately the hours of practice she had to put in finally made her give up playing the violin. What a pity...

After reading the book, it was hard not to think that her daughters would turn out to be socially awkward weirdos but thankfully it was not so. Whether they are successful individuals or not, I can't say as success is truly subjective. What defines success? Bring on top of the social ladder? Being in an Ivy League school? Being kind? Being happy? Being rich? Being popular? Being Famous?

It spells the end of everything.
With a tinge of regret,
U will remain a fond memory
And nothing else
Like dust in the wind.
All the time spent
Under the sun
Was only fool's gold
I meant nothing to you
And you nothing to me.
Would I change my mind again
Tomorrow?
I have changed it too many times.
This time,
It shall remain
Chained
Locked
For eternity.

I've been asked and I've been mocked for using a fountain pen, especially when my fingers get stained with ink or when the pen chokes. Someone said the ballpoint pen was invented for a reason and there's a reason too that only a minority of people still use fountain pens.
I can't explain it either. It's like trying to explain why you love the sea, or chicken rice, or cats, or a certain book, a certain person... there's just no concrete reason sometimes why you love something. I like the sound of the pen scratching the paper, I like how the ink flows when it flexes, I like how some strokes are so fine that it resembles a strand of hair, I like the softness of the nib... and why do these things give me a good feeling? I don't know.

Been to Bali a second time in march and the feelings about Bali remain the same; I didn't fall in love with it. I guess there are just some places you can't love.

I was upset by someone today. Oh well, actually two people. People can get really overbearing at times and I just feel so suffocated and pissed. The other infuriating thing I shall not mention... but I think little things add up... an unkind word here and there, impatience, selfishness, etc.. before you know it, an ocean has been created and there's no way you can return to the other side.

Should I give up already?
What is it that is holding me back?
Fear of unknown territories?
The inability to believe in myself and God?
In limbo... caught between reality and a dream...

Randomness

The library in beauty and the beast is to die for. Curved grand staircases, ladders, thousands of books. Last check on library thing- 300 books in my trove. Paltry.

That itch for a camper van trip is still there... arghh. Totally undo-able for this year and the next...

Haven't been writing much. The journal remains quite empty. Somehow I'm just not sure what's best to put onto paper.

Still considering whether to get a typewriter. But I'm starting to get a little tired of clutter and things. Yet on the other hand, I like to collect things and start new hobbies. Looos like I can never declutter my life and live the minimalist way.

Bus life

http://vandogtraveller.com/
Simplebuslife

Been looking at these camper vans and bus life blogs, IGs whatever. I wonder what lies in that magnetism? The simplicity, the freedom? Having your life pared down to just a tiny van? Is it only beautiful in a dream, like everything else in the world? will being stuck in a tiny space with the bare minimum jolt you from that dream ? I'm not sure but somehow, I'm just so drawn to that lifestyle and can't help dreaming.