Why do we always seek happiness, that fleeting elusive emotion ? It doesn't stay for long, does it? One moment you have it within your grasp, and the next it has slipped out of your hands.
Sometimes you wonder if it will ever return, sometimes you think you know it will, but sometimes the weight of the world just pulls you deeper and deeper into a dark well and you just know, it will never come back to you. Maybe you will enjoy the coldness and the silence for a while. Maybe you think it is ok to remain in that well where the sun doesn't shine. Maybe it is not ok. Maybe it takes you a day to realize it, maybe it takes you a lifetime.
Sometimes you try so hard to hold on to something that will never be yours. How do you know when to give up?
When do you know it is the end of the road,
When do you realize you are just chasing the wind?
How do you walk away when your heart just keeps running towards the fire?
What do you do when you get burnt?

Coulda woulda shoulda

She decided then that it will be a secret she would keep forever in her heart.
She watched him walk away and knew they would probably never meet again.

Dawn turned to dusk and dusk to dawn, the years passed.
She got married with 2.5 kids, a white picket fence (no, not really, a small apartment actually in the lower east side), and was widowed at the age of 62.

Her eyes are almost blind with cataracts now and she walks stiffly.

But even in the hazy world she lives in now, she sees him again at the park where she has been taking her walks for the last ten years.

He is different now but his eyes, through them, she can still find the boy she once knew and loved.

He sees her too and with a little courage...

Coffee? He asks.

It is a date that came a little too late

She nods her head and smiles, a little bemused at how age has eradicated the shyness of her youth.

They take a slow walk in silence to a cafe by the lake- a charming glass house filled with blooming flowers and hanging planters.

They sit opposite each other in a quiet corner of the cafe.. He orders his americano, she, her flat white.

She stares at him, unable to look away.

She wants to touch his crowfeet, the wrinkles.. so much time has passed. She feels strange- young and old at the same time.

She chuckles softly, shaking her head and thinks of all the coulda shoulda woulda.

You can have the world beneath your feet but time, it slips through your fingers and never returns.

I miss the quiet. The coolness and stillness of the night air. The smell of the wet grass.
The sounds of the crickets chirping. This place is just too noisy.

Hollow dreams

Let us go to places unknown,
Secret gardens and islands old,
Magic dragons and friendly trolls.
Feel the wind and the tragic snow
Sail the seas and hear the roosters crow.
Hold my hand and we will go,
Hold our breaths and we will know,
We have found the rainbow's gold.

Hear the crickets moan,
As I play on the old banjo,
You sang me a song of sweet chariot swinging low,
My lips to the words I follow
And with you I sang that song of old.
Swing low, sweet chariot, swing low.
That tree of weepy willow,
so full of mellow,
It bends and it sways wherever the wind blows,
To the ends of the world with you I will go,
But then the night shatters and I am all alone,
It is only but a dream hollow.