Been lazy these days. Finished the 7 years in Tibet a long while back but never got around to writing the review. Haven't had the time to reflect either. These days, in a blink of the eye, months have gone by. There's just so little time left for myself.
Not in the best of mood today. I wish we could all see things through unbiased lens but the truth is, our perceptions will always be colored by our past experiences, feelings, etc. it's always hard for me to respect someone whom I feel shows favoritism or biases but then again, who doesn't have favorites? Even parents can't help themselves but favor one child over the other. I guess I am just upset at the injustice of it all.
At times, I feel like closing all doors and for everyone else to just leave me alone. things are boiling over and I've no idea what to do but to sweep everything under the carpet and pretend the elephant in the room doesn't exist. It's easier that way.
I've been too weary to respond to messages from church friends. It's funny how this is the group I run away from when I am not feeling my best. This is also the group that every little thing makes me feel
as if I am expending tremendous effort. This is so wrong as I am drifting further and further away from the only thing that is eternal and real and uncomplicated. I feel like dropping everything and just slink away in defeat. Others are crossing rivers and mountains just to have a glimpse of God and yet, I am crossing rivers and oceans just to run in the opposite direction. The irony.
I hope this mood will pass.