It caught me by surprise the way I've started missing the kids after just a mere 3 days with them. They are just so incredible- open, joyful, caring for one another, etc. Hopefully the fire for them will not burn out and I'll have the strength and perseverance to do more for them.
On another note, was amused by another incident during the trip. I realized I've been getting more and more impatient. When a prayer gets too long, I find myself wandering. When someone talks too much and too long, I get annoyed and start wishing that person would hurry up and get to the point. When I don't see immediate results, I tend to give up whatever I am doing. Knowing my impatient nature, I prayed before the trip for God to grant me patience. And the funny thing was the group I was assigned to was called patience! Just what i prayed for and I didn't realize it until the last day of the trip... Rather retarded.
I think I have gained more from the trip than I gave. Of all the kids, I was impressed most by Arwan-hardworking, kind, talented, mature, and God-loving. I have more affinity with Mefati though and was very happy to see how he opened up on the last day of the trip. Before that we asked him to sing for us and he refused to. On the last day, he brought a guitar and just sat in front of me and asked me to sing while he played. I didn't know the song so couldn't sing. Then he just started singing three songs to me. Very heartwarming. It really doesn't take much to bring joy to someone. Was very impressed with Samuel as well. He acted as our translator as he was the only one out of the whole group to speak good English. He has also signed up for Bible college. I like him most for his humour and the way he takes care of the rest of the kids like a big brother-teaching them songs and just watching over them. I thank God for the opportunity to know these people.

Dreams that cannot be

Some dreams u wake up from.
Whilst sweet,
Make you weep.
Because they remain,
In dreams.
The harsh reality
Is what greets
You each day.
Each day,
The heart grows colder,
I see it in others' eyes,
The same pain,
The same lives.
We are all the same.
Destroyed by lies,
By the dreams that cannot be.

Diary

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/01/25/virginia-woolf-on-keeping-a-diary/

Very well-written diary... I can get what she meant when she said one shouldn't hesitate when writing. Once you do, there is always a risk of self-censorship. Rather synonymous to most things in life. Once we hesitate, fear, worries, anxieties set in, and we lose our momentum to do/say something. Good example of this is today. Hesitated whether to attend service.. And Alas, here I am lying in bed writing mindless stuff.

Man with the banjo

Kumbaya my lord,
That old folk song you used to sing,
Under the willow tree.
Strumming that old banjo
With your weary fingers.

Kumbaya my lord,
you sang as the night settled.
The woods gathered in the day,
Were set ablaze.
By the fire you sat,
Singing that familiar old song.

Kumbaya my lord.
The birds had gone into hiding,
The sounds of the crickets permeated the air.
The children gathered around you,
The glowing fire reflected in their eyes.
Enchanted they watched,
As you strummed and sang
Kumbaya my lord.

Kumbaya my lord.
The night grew darker,
The children's eyes were hazy.
It is time for bed,
Their mothers called.
When they were gone,
Alone you sat,
Still singing that song.

Kumbaya my lord.
You waited till the stars were out,
Under the willow tree,
You put down that old banjo,
With your arms behind your head,
You watched them twinkle,
Till dawn came and stole them away.

Kumbaya my lord
You hummed.
And slung that old banjo across your back,
Walking away from that willow tree,
Which had been your home for a night,
And disappeared into the morning mist.

Mr Bach is driving me up the walls....

July... Such a packed month... Mission conference, mission briefing, mission trip, piano exam, 3 cells, 2 different readings with SS and cell... Wonder why everything happens at the same time... But I guess it leaves me less time to mull over unnecessary things.

Saw a typewriter the other day at a garage sale. So tempted to buy. Everyone seems to be progressing but I am regressing. But I like the sounds of the typewriter, especially the older models, not the ribbon type from the 80/90s. And I like the print.