Widow for One Year- John Irving

Have had this book for some years but never got around to reading it. Quite enjoyed it especially the beginning and the ending. I got bored around the middle. Story began with Marion and Ted Cole, Eddie O'Hare, and Ruth Cole. Marion and Ted had lost their sons in a freak car accident and Marion never got over the loss. Ted was a famous children's book writer and was often infidel. He hired Eddie one summer to be his assistant but it turned out that Ted had a more sinister plan in mind. as expected by Ted, Eddie, then 16, fell in love with the sad Marion, who was 39. The love affair lasted almost the whole summer but with Marion eventually abandoning her family, including the 4-year old Ruth Cole. Marion couldn't bring herself to love another child; afraid that one day she might lose Ruth too. 

I guess this is true for many of us. We are afraid to love because we fear losing. Love and lose, just a letter different. 

Anyway Eddie became a writer but not a very good one, as all his books were about that summer affair. He never got over loving Marion.

Ruth also grew up to be a writer and Eddie's life continued to be intertwined with the Coles. But he never found out where Marion was except that he discovered that she too, had became a writer under a nom de plume. She had included descriptions of her lost boys in her stories as part of her grieving process.

Ruth was the more successful of the three and had a love-hate relationship with her father, as she knew of his infidelity with other women. The last straw came when she finally learnt that Ted had been sleeping with her best friend, hannah. Ted Cole eventually committed suicide when he learnt from Ruth that one of his squash mates had abused her.

Ruth then married Allan, her editor, because he was a safe choice but he later died from cardiac arrest. She then met Harry, a street cop from Amsterdam, where she had been to research her story. She had witnessed the murder of a prostitute and had written to Harry with the clues. Harry only realized it was Ruth who wrote to him after reading one of her novels. 

I liked the ending when Marion finally got in touch with Eddie and then Ruth. Eddie and Marion fell in love again despite 37 years of being apart. When Ruth saw Marion and Eddie, she was in tears. Marion said to her," darling, it's just Eddie and me." The same phrase she said to her when Ruth had walked in on them together, when she was 4. 

Yeats

Had heard of Yeats but never truly took the time to read his poems. Until I read one of his poems in John Irving's widow for a year.
I don't know why I like his poems. But they are simple, maybe a little sorrowful and also beautiful.

When you are old
WHEN you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Dream of death-William butler yeats

I DREAMED that one had died in a strange place
Near no accustomed hand,
And they had nailed the boards above her face,
The peasants of that land,
Wondering to lay her in that solitude,
And raised above her mound
A cross they had made out of two bits of wood,
And planted cypress round;
And left her to the indifferent stars above
Until I carved these words:
i{She was more beautiful than thy first love,}
i{But now lies under boards.}

To whom, do I write these letters to?

To whom, do I write these letters to?
The honest words,
The unadorned truth,
Before they get stolen by the world,
Before they get stolen by time,
Before they get stolen by the thieves
That reside in the recesses of my mind.

Aedh wishes for the cloths of heaven-William butler yeats

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Yeats

Man as an island?

After the mad running around looking for gifts for the kids, had to cancel the trip after getting the flu which came without warning. Rather disappointed. Maybe I should not have kept so many late nights recently.

On a random note, I've always had this idea that we came into the world alone and would also die alone. But I guess that's not entirely true. When we came into the world we had our mothers and most times, other caregivers, be it nurses, doctors or midwives. When we die, I guess for some, they do go alone but for others, they have family members with them.
I'm not sure what point I'm deriving at. Just that if following my former thought, it
seems as if at the two most significant times in our lives, we are alone. So why are we so afraid of loneliness? But now I realized I guess we were never meant to live as a lone island, since we were surrounded by people the moment we were borne. And God had made 2 instead of 1 because He knew that human beings are susceptible to loneliness.

I was quite afraid last night when I was ill & told sis to give me a call in the morning just to check that im alive. Talk about being dramatic. But I guess that's the main fear when u live alone. So can one truly live in solitude without fear? I dont know.

I've brought myself here
To the place I didn't want to be.